~yan~

2012-01-29T04:44:00.000-08:00

It hurts. But the more i say i know i'll just be hurt even more.

So i held back my tears and suck it up.

I'll show a poker face but deep down, it just hurts so much.

You have no idea how lonely i was. And you'll never know.

I really don't like being at home.

2012-01-27T23:36:00.000-08:00

It's hard for me to stay quiet but when i'm given a chance to speak, i just can't say whatever that i've been wanting to say. It sucks to know that not everything in mind can be said out.

No one will know when i hit rock bottom because not even myself can show that even if i wanted to. I guess 19 years and 5 months of pretending got me fooling myself as well. I cry to let others see and get what i want but never did the real tears fall to show how scarred i am.

I fucked up before. I try to make it better but i feel like it's way too broken that i can't fix it anymore. Now all i do is to stay silent. I don't have the energy to explain my actions to anyone anymore. If i do something, i don't do it just because i want to. It may seem wrong but i just don't want to explain. When you try explaining something, it just gets all complicated and it becomes worst is someone misinterpret it.

So i'd just stop.

Let the pictures speak

2011-12-31T10:50:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

2011-12-21T09:22:00.000-08:00

I'm so alone. I feel so fucking alone. I need someone. But I don't want anyone.

I've lived my life solving my own problems. I don't know how to tell others my problem even if i wanted to. I save myself before i fall. I had to be strong every time. But at nights like this i just crumble.

So many things that i knew but i can't tell anyone. Every single secret kills me in the inside. I want to shout it out. Tell someone. But i just can't. Even to those i trust, i just don't know how to put it in words for them to understand.

I feel so fucking alone.

The song that always makes me cry

2011-12-12T06:56:00.000-08:00

I miss you, i miss you so bad

I don't forget you, oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me, cause i remember it clearly.

The day you slipped away.

Who? My grandfather. The one man who treats me like a princess. The man who taught me how to cycle but he passed on before i got the hang of it. Whenever i think about him, it never fails to bring tears to my eyes. And when i'm typing this, i'm already drying up my tears.

Every single word in this song, i can closely relate to it. For Avril, her grandfather passed away while she was on tour. But for me, well, i live in Singapore and he stays in Indonesia.

I didn't get around to kiss you, goodbye on the hand. You know in the Muslim culture you kiss the hand of your elder. Yeah i didn't manage to do that.

I hope you can hear me clearly, cause i remember it clearly. The day you slipped away. I just got dismissed from school. I was just in a primary school. I was 7. Afternoon session. Usually i would take the school bus home but my mum and my cousin was there. (which is really shocking enough for me already). The next thing i knew i was on a cab and i was rushed to change out of my uniform and i was on the ferry back to Indonesia.

When i reached the island, i was holding both of my parents hands looking at them wondering why are we here? It's not a festive season or anything.

That's when i got into the house. And i saw him lying there. In a white cloth. Everyone else was praying. (and crying) That was when it registered to my brain. He's gone. My mum sat down and i sat on top of her. I was crying so hard that i wet her scarf. I remember crying a lot. Everytime when i take out the things that he bought me i will just cry. Everytime when i think about him, i'll cry automatically. Then when i heard this song, i will just start to tear. When i'm outside, i'll make sure to skip this song cause it means a lot to me. And i don't wanna look like an idiot and start crying out of no where.

Ok i really just cried while typing this entire post.

2011-12-08T06:15:00.000-08:00

Ok i actually wanted to blog but i got lazy. bleargh. Whatever. Bye!

SKINS UK

2011-11-22T04:05:00.001-08:00

I know the previous blog post i wrote i was watching Skins but damn! I'm getting addicted to this show. Actually i'm addicted. I'm on my last episode of season 2 but i just don't wanna watch it because that will be the ending. No more of the first generation cast (except for Effy) anymore. And i truly love the first generation of Skins! Like real truly!

The previous post was about Mitch Hewer. But i really, i'm loving Sid and Chris as well! I just can't help it! All 3 of them are so fucking fit! (too influenced by the Brit slang) As for the female character, i adore Cassie. She's weird and that's why i like her. As simple as that.

I'll introduce Cassie first! aka Hannay Murray

Next is Sid! aka Mike Bailey (Sid and Cass is a couple and i just love both of them together!)

And finally!!! CHRIS!!!! aka JOESEPH DEMPSIE I find him truly aDORKable! Really!!! You just can't help but to love him no matter what

Here are some random photos that i just saved into my lappy.

MITCH HEWER

2011-11-19T22:16:00.000-08:00

I've been watching the UK version of Skins and it's hell awesome! (even the voice in my head is speaking in a British accent)

So i started with season 5 but i realize it's kinda crappy cuz it's all bout parties, sex, booze, drugs and more booze and sex. So i kinda got sick of it.

I read all the comments and i saw that season 1 was waaaaay better. So i quit season 5 and went to season 1. Hell yeah season 1 is good! They had more guys and it also focus more on friendship and family.

Now presenting to you my favorite character from Skins. (he's gay in the show but a total cutie!)

MAXXIE!!! Real name: Mitch Hewer

He's just soooo adorable that you want to put him in your pocket!

I think this is how he looks now. He has the whole manly mature look going on.

Cute when young and manly when older. Damn.

I love myself too much

2011-11-18T01:51:00.000-08:00

I've been rotting at home. Learning all make-up tutorial, hair tutorial and whatever weird stuff i found on Youtube.

I practically cam-whored like mad today. So imma post it up here. It's all about me. I love myself too much. If you don't like me or my face, i suggest you should leave. Don't say i didn't warn you. ( i have a feeling Jess won't like this post)

2011-11-16T23:35:00.000-08:00

It hurts me to see you like that. It freaking hurts. It's stupid.... But i can't control this feeling.

I'm done with Year 2!!!

2011-11-16T02:33:00.000-08:00

Ok i know i'm a lil late on this post but i really had no mood to blog. But after seeing Jess's blog i knew i had to update soon.

I think many went through hell thanks to PW and i'm very proud of everyone who had stick through it and went all the way to the end!

Best part, my group didn't have any major conflict or whatever!

Hey Jess! We made it through by helping each other!!! All those gossip-py time! hehehe. And, everyone can have more than one BFF! Just that i count my BFF base on the years of friendship i have with that friend.

Actually i wanted to blog more... But i forgot! Shit man. This STM is coming back.

Anw, i've been really addicted to this song Get It Hot by this China, (Yes China) group M.I.C! Totally loving this song!!!

Adios~~~

JESS! I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME TO PEACE OUT WITH MY PICTURE! BUT I DON'T CARE~~~ hehehehe

2011-11-13T02:20:00.000-08:00

I wanted to dedicate this post to Jess. So unless you are her, you may wanna leave.

Hey girl! Thanks a lot for helping me review my slides yesterday. I'm writing this cuz i sounded kinda... erm... uninterested? Is that the word? But i was not uninterested ok! I was really hungry and tired so i sounded kinda grumpy. Just afraid that you might think i wasn't thankful.

But really, thank you for reviewing my slides. Love you!!!

Loneliness

2011-11-12T06:49:00.001-08:00

I hate loneliness but i find comfort in being lonely.

Contradicting.

I wanna be around people but when there are people, i wanna be alone.

I wanna go out and hang out with friends, but i'd rather sit quietly at one corner.

I learned how to deal loneliness till i just wanna be alone most of the time.

I want someone to just be there at times.

Ya know?

Verse 1

2011-11-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

I'M DONE WITH VERSE 1 OF I'M STILL FLY!!!

I decided to not write the whole song. Writing a rap is harder. I used to just re-write the kpop songs i like. So it's easier cause i can count the syllabus and then fit in the words. But i'm trying to venture further and just come up with my own thing. With the tune and stuff.

I’m still fly

I’m sky high and I dare anybody to try and cut my wings.

I’m still pullin out the phantom and these haters cant

Stand me nigga I’m still doin my thing.

I’m still fly

I’m sky high and I dare anybody to try and cut my wings.

I’m still shuttin cities down everytime I come around.

nigga I’m still doin my thing.

I’m still, I’m still

Dreaming big no matter what they say

Can’t you see society’s driving us in a different way

They tryna get rid of us but we’re here to stay

This ain’t some shit for you to get to know my name.

No! No! I don’t wanna go that way

Imma keep hustling till one day I can see some changes made

I ain’t gonna fake my shit to try and get some of the fame

All I wanna do is to be heard, now that’s all I gotta say.

I’m sick of all the high expectation

They conform me till I lose all of my aspirations

Now who can I blame when I’m lost without any directions?

So I charge to the front without any more hesitation

Imma show the world I can do just as good as you

So don’t you come here judging me like I’m such a fool

I see you got some qualifications so does that make you any good?

Now tell me if what you have is really the true you

I like my boy bad

2011-11-10T09:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, as the title says. I like bad boys. Boys with swag.

Guys have been complaining, girls find a nice guy but then they treat that guy as "just a friend" and fall for the bad boys who will later break their heart. The thing is, not all girls settle for "safe". Some like thrills and surprise. Guys who are safe, don't bring such thrills and it can make a relationship be boring.

In other words, we're willing to ride the emotional roller coaster.

Maybe it's because i'm young that's why i'm thinking this way. I'm sure when i turn 26 or 27 i will want a guy who can give me security. But for now, i'm all up with fun. I'm not someone who believes in teenage love. ( I have friends who truly believe in teenage love. Good for them)

But then again, maybe it's cause i met guys who i can't trust. All they want is to get some ass and then leave.

p.s. I'm very hungry and it's now 1.20 am

NEW COMPOSITION!!!

2011-11-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

But i had a major urge to write a new song!!! I tried to stop but i can't! So i ended up with some drafts. In case you don't know, it's Drakes I'm Still Fly. I'm thinking bout changing the hook cause i don't wanna use the word nigga.

Once i'm done with the song maybe i'll do a whole video and put it up here? Hopefully it gets done. After November 14th, song writing and song covers! I already have some but i need to edit some parts. I don't know why the spacing so weird but the italics are my lyrics. It's just a teaser. hehehehe.

I'm still fly (Yea) I'm sky high

And I dare anybody to try and cut my wings (Uh)
I'm still pullin out the phantom
And these haters can't stand him (That's me singin by the way... in case you didint know)
Nigga I'm still doin my thing
I'm still fly I'm sky high (Yea some new shit... new shit I'm on)
And I dare anybody to try and cut my wings (I promise I got em)
I'm still shuttin coities down (Look) everytime I come around
Nigga I'm still doin my thing (Here I go) I'm still...

Dreaming big no matter what they say

Society’s driving us in a different way

They tryna get rid of us but we’re here to stay

This ain’t some shit for you to get to know my name.

No! No! I don’t wanna go that way

Imma keep hustling till I see some change

I ain’t gonna fake my shit to try and get some of the fame

All I wanna do is to be heard, now that’s all I gotta say.

My dreams

2011-11-04T01:48:00.000-07:00

I'm the only child. I grow up without having anyone around my age. So i spent a lot of time with my grandma and my 10th uncle.

Since i was young, i regarded my 10th uncle as my best friend. I'm always alone and i get lonely every time. But my uncle always has something for me to do so i won't get bored.

My uncle is an artist, producer, director. He went to NAFA. When i was young, i would always go to his room and see him doing some drawings or meddling with some animations in his computer.

He would always put me on his lap and let me help out with his animations. I remembered doing something like a comic strip. We would watch films together and he would comment bout the bad things and the good things.

I definitely remember him doing up this art piece. It was a dragon. It was like air brush or something. It was beautiful. The most beautiful dragon that i've seen in my life. He took a long time to finish it cause he wanted it to perfect. And to me, it is perfect.

He taught me how to do a lot art. He would prepare those glue which needed the guns, hot guns is it? Nail polish, some wood stuff, pen knife, alphabet macaroni. I learnt so many things from him. (Since young, i knew how to hold the pen knife correctly. Heh)

He once used my grandma's house for filming before, that was when i was in love with film-making. Hearing the director call out "CUT!" "ACTION!" had a big impact on me.

But i grew up with a camera in my hands. I had my first camera since i was 10. Only when i was 13 i got a SLR. It wasn't a digital one though. When i was 16 i got my DSLR. I joined Media Club, Photography in secondary school. I love photography. Love it when you hear the shutter and expecting a perfect picture to appear.

I love doing duties. Taking photos of events and capturing "the moment". It can be beautiful, it can be ugly.

I realized that i love taking shots of people, so i wanted to be a fashion photographer. But knowing Singapore's limited need for fashion photographer, i gave up.

But i still love filming. As long as i'm behind a camera lens, i'm happy. It can be a camera or a video camera, i love it all.

My dream is to film a war movie. One which involves a photo journalist and how he was assigned to take photos during the war and the things he has to go through.

How i get this inspiration?

I was reading my history text book (I LOVE HISTORY) and saw a photographer, and wondered, why would they risk their life to take photos during a battle?! But then, there a new found respect for them. They risk their life so the future can see how the past was like. Cruelty and blood. What people should not do.

I wanted to make a film out of it. I know there are films about them made before. But i want one to my name.

Imagine this: When the movie ends, the credits come up and your name appears and producer/director. The feeling inside is indescribable.

I'm just a school photographer. But when i see my name attached to a photo in the school magazine or banner, i feel that i'm seen. I mean people are going to see the picture.

Photography and film-making is beautiful. Stress? Yes. But when you see your final product, you will think that all your stress is worth it.

Somebody make my dream come true please?

2011-11-02T05:29:00.000-07:00

I miss my mum. I miss my dad. I miss the times that we used to share.

We're so near yet so far. We're getting distant with each passing day. I pleaded you to take a look at me in the past but i gave up. I already gave up long ago anyway.

I cried, but you never saw. I cut, but you never cared. I don't know what to do to get your attention.

Will me getting A's get you to notice me?

I feel our relationship is getting so strained... I'm so tired. We all appear so cold when it's just the three of us. But we're the greatest pretenders when there's people around.

How can i be so different at home and in school. I hate going home because i hate this tension.

I wanna hug and say "I love you guys!" But it's all too awkward now. I can't even bring myself to rest my head on your shoulder, what more a hug.

It hurts me so deeply sometimes. I don't know what to do anymore.... Can you make the first move?

I love you mom and dad. I really do. So sorry i can't show it to you.

Just play with yourself please

2011-10-23T00:08:00.000-07:00

The way you text just shows what you want. Really, when i told you i like talking to you, it was the truth. But really, when you took it a bit further, i was ready to play along. But it was just for that moment.

If you are gonna text me everyday asking me whether i'm free so i could chat with you, dude, you're wrong. I have a life too. I'm not here to entertain you. Plus, please have some respect for me.

That's the end of my rant.

Nice shorts Jess!

Not that i like KOI but i was damn thirsty and she just had to drink in front of me.

Featuring Jessie's mum!

Anyway Jess, you know i'm not really the best at giving advise. Especially when it comes to relationships. But i want you to know that i'll be there as your listening ear alright babe!

2011-10-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

As a friend, i really don't think you should have said that. It was a little to overboard. I kept on thinking about it and because it made feel like i was in an awkward situation. I just think that it was so wrong for you to say that.

2011-10-18T05:36:00.000-07:00

I've been missing you way too much these past few days. I don't know why but i just keep on thinking about you. Songs that i click on Youtube somehow reminds me of my situation with you. Doesn't help that i keep on seeing your name around whenever i log into Facebook.

Why and how can you have such a power to control my feelings. Sigh...

2011-10-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

It was promotional status today.

I got promoted.

But there are some friends who didn't make it through with me. And it really hurts to see some of us not able to get life through in MI together. Now i know what the teachers mean.

I'm suppose to be getting B's by now. But i'm not. And i'm afraid that i won't do well for A's. I'm totally freaked when i think that imma be taking my A's next year. Am i really ready for this? I ask myself this question a lot of times. But i'm not gonna quit.

The past 2 years, the hard work that i put in. I don't want all that to come to nothing. I must start my revision after my PW. Of course imma take some days off to enjoy. But i must seriously start my revision before 2012 comes.

"Our GC couldn’t even do the math. It’ll be more than e+99 if they had to count." Bitch! I totally love this! Very creative.

2011-10-16T07:54:00.001-07:00

I've got my promo 2 result already.... Yeah... But that's not the most important thing right now (actually it is but heck!) it is actually about what Mr. Tan, my principal said last Friday during HTP period.

"Have a dream team alliance." For those who watches Korean variety Dream Team, no. That's not what dream team means.

It actually means having a team of people who have the same mindset as you. Friends that will encourage you when you are down and those who have the same goal as you. The goal that "We are going into a local university bitches!". That kinda goal.

And i must say, I'm an extremely lucky girl because i have my dream team. And i love these girls to death. Without them, i doubt that i'll even survive year 1. But thanks to them, i realize something that i have never realize in secondary school. These friends made me change for the better and i'm really grateful to them.

My study buddies, Zhilin and Yuwen. To me, i think that our friendship is kinda special. I feel that we can be so different at times but we can just blend together. There seems to be this invisible force that binds us together despite our differences. I don't know how to even describe our friendship but it holds a really important place to me. Also, they're the best study buddies i've ever had in my life!

Lydia and Shahirah. The closest Malay girls that i've known in MI. I'm thankful that i have these girls to vent out my frustration to. Sometimes, i can't really fully vent out my frustration in English but with them, i can just say out everything. I can trust them with some of my issues that i can't really describe to other people. They're also my best maths and POA teacher!

And of course, how can i not talk about my happy pill! This girl is really a huge influence to me ever since i step into 10B3. (it will be a lie if i say ever since the day i step into MI, cuz there was orientation and i didn't know her then.) I used to be a girl who is happy with just a passing grade. No. Scratch that. I'm happy as long there's improvement. I don't even need to pass! But after knowing her, a passing grade is not enough. I've become an... over-achiever? I feel like that at times. I don't know if its good. But with such a competitive education system, i think this influence is good.

Frankly speaking, MI has students who are not HIGHLY motivated, sometimes you forget that you are not competing with just fellow MI students for seats in the U. But Jess made me think that every single student in other JCs are not just happy with a passing grade. It has to be an A. That's what you need if you wanna get into a local U. Or the U of your dreams. (Mine is SMU).

Another thing is, I was NEVER a perfectionist. NEVER. I'm not really into the everything-has-to-perfect kinda shit. But after knowing Jess for 2 years, I tend to want things to be perfect. Not that i became a perfectionist or even want to be a perfectionist. But i just want things to at the best form as possible.

I cringe at the moments when i think back to my old times. Boy am i damn childish. Not caring bout shit and just care about things that i like. Now that i think about it, i think it's really wrong to have that mindset. I'm glad that MI had actually changed the way i think.

I know you are reading this Jess! <3! Thanks for everything!

And of course, last but most importantly, my one and only BFF. Nuraini!

Even though we may not be studying in the same school, studying different things and such. I thank her for caring about how i'm doing in school and such. And i'm thankful that we are finding time to spent with each other despite our busy schedule. I really miss her when she went to Seoul. I had no one to text or to meet. She's actually one of my pillar of strength. I know i can run to her when i'm having troubles. Since she knows me the longest, i feel that she knows everything that she needs to know. Not everyone has the luxury of having a BFF and i thank God that He gave me one.

I don't what made me write such a post but since i don't express myself with words, i want my friends to know how much they mean to me. These girls are my dream team alliance.

Ok, i have school tomorrow and morning duty. Sucks ball i tell ya.

2011-10-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

And again... I strayed while doing PW.

It's 11.36 and i have school tomorrow (I tend to sleep at 10pm every night). Meeting Zhilin at 7.15am tomorrow cuz we wanna try out the new circle line.

I think i shall sleep now la. Ciao!

P.S. Jess said she wouldn't want to see my picture when i say peace out. So Jess, just for you, what about our picture?

2011-10-02T01:05:00.000-07:00

Yo wassup people!

I'm trying my best to do pw but i've been drifting away to other sites (as you can see). Damn i suck! You know what else suck? That tomorrow is Monday and i have morning duty. But this is life.

Peace out y'all!

2011-10-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

It's rare for me to blog twice but this is blog worthy. I celebrated my birthday twice! Yesterday (30th September) and today (1st October).

So my lovely girlfriends prepared a surprise birthday party for Chay Wei, Siying and me! Since my birthday was long gone, i didn't expect them to celebrate mine as well. When Bao Xin came in with the birthday cake, i thought it was Mr Ang's birthday or something but i doubt that she would do that.

(credits to Woo Bao Bao for the picchuas!)

And not too long ago (like as in 1 hour ago), my dearest study mates, Zhilin and Yuwen surprised me by appearing outside my house. Yuwen just pushed me to my room and kidnapped me there. And i kept on shouting this is my house in Chinese every time. Then Zhilin came holding onto a slice of cake. I was so touched till cried. I mean, i never had friends barging into my house and then surprising me with a birthday surprise when my birthday was like god knows how many days ago! (My birthday is 10 August, today is the 1st October. Do the math.)

And they bought me a new bling bling wallet!!! I guess they knew how bad of a condition my wallet is. hahaha! I thought Zhilin was being like Johar when she emptied all the contents of my wallet but then she threw me a bling bling wallet!

I don't have a photo together with them after the mini celebration because i looked like a total mess but here's one when we were out studying together.

I will never regret coming to MI and meeting this awesome bunch of people. Love you guys loads! <3

2011-10-01T05:14:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, i've been listening to English songs and..... I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL WHO HAS SUCH MAD TALENT!

My favorite song!

Ok you can check out her other videos on Youtube. She's like the American version of Tasha aka T aka Yoon Mi Rae. She sings and raps. My idol!!!

Oh and other than her, i still love Chris Brown!

2011-09-27T06:09:00.000-07:00

Fuck that new girl that you like so bad

She's not crazy like me i bet you like that

2011-09-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

No matter how deep i try to lock that memory, it just creeps out every night.

I've cursed myself way too often. It's so easy to say i'm alright but i know that i'm not.

"Why you?" so often i asked myself that. No answer came. There was never an answer to begin with.

I deal with it everyday. I just need someone to help me get out. But i don't seem to accept anyone or any help unless it's you.

I lay here thinking to myself i'm the most stupid girl on this earth.

2011-09-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

My expression don't lie. If you saw it, then yeah. That was how i felt.

2011-09-15T02:12:00.000-07:00

When you're upset and down, I'll be the friend sitting beside you.

I won't say a word, I'll just sit there passing you a piece of tissue.

I don't know what to say because I know that I won't understand.

And when you see me crying or upset, just sit there too.

That's all I need.

2011-07-22T02:29:00.000-07:00

I can't help it. I hate this feeling. I don't like knowing that i've tried everything but i still can't let it go. It drives me insane.

I'm not gonna let something so painful to happen to me twice. So i'm just gonna sit silently and bear with it all. I'm going to watch from afar. Untill i meet someone better, it's gonna be you.

2011-07-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

I've been missing someone. A friend, a childhood friend. Despite having a few arguments here and there, we managed to keep our friendship going for 10 years. But now, i don't know whats going on in her life and i don't even bump into her when we are just staying one block apart. I've dreamt about her many times. In those dreams we were still friends. We were enjoying ourselves and looking like idiots as usual. When i woke up, i wish i could have those moment back. I want it back in reality.

I know i've done wrong things. I know i wasn't always there when you needed me. I know you are angry at me because i wasn't there to help you when you were in a fix. I know that i was never a friend that you truly can rely on. And from the very bottom of my heart, I'm very sorry.

I don't make friends with people just for them to walk away. But in this friendship, i think our pride tend to get in the way. Don't you realise? Most of the time, maybe it's just me, but i don't know... In case you don't know, you hold some secrets that i never shared with anyone else because i believe you would understand best and you won't judge me.

Sure you can get extremely stubborn at times that i feel like strangling you. But nobody's perfect. It's one of your flaw. But i always believe that, if you always think about someone's flaws, then you'll never see the good side to them.I was immature. You were immature. We were both immature teenagers who didn't know how to resolve our problems.

I know you would never see this. Somehow i feel that you have completely erased me away from your life. Just like how you erased your other friends away maybe? But trust me my friend, i would really like us to be friends again. We promised to do so many things and can't wait to get older so we can do what we promised.It's a pity that those promises are now just empty promises aye?

Hey Zaf, i'm really sorry you know.

Rappers or just.... crappers?

2011-06-11T00:52:00.000-07:00

Just read the article at allkpop. Korean hip-hop's rising stars: B-Free and Dok2

One of the lines they wrote was, "recent idol groups seem to carry a member or two that knows how–or at least tries–to rap."

Then there's another sentence, "Notable groups include Big Bang, 2PM, and Sistar19. At the end of the day, which one of these groups actually seem to know how to rap?"

For those who know me, they might think i'm bias if i say that TOP and GD are the true rappers(amongst the idol group that is). But whatever. That's my point of view. Anyway, TOP did start from underground.

2PM? Rap? HAHAHAHAHA!!! Are you kidding me. Ask Taec to come up with a rap on the spot. Doubt that he can. He's just there as the rapper in the group because he's trained. Not because he is into hip-hop and can rap. He auditioned for JYP as a model. MODEL! The dude can't sing for goodness sake. So they put him in as the rapper. *rolls eyes

Apart from Taec there's Chansung, he can't sing, and he can't rap neither. Ok let's give this guy a bit of credit. He raps better than he sings. As for Khun, he's the opposite. He sings better than he raps. BUT WHY DID THEY SWAP POSITIONS?! I can't help but to cringe when i hear Khun rap and Chansung sings.

From they way i write you would never figure that i was, WAS a hottest and my ultimate bias was Taec. I was all into looks in the past. Yeah i WAS shallow.

Sistar19? I don't really listen to them. So who am i to judge?

Wanna know which other group has bad rappers? MBLAQ. Can't stand the way Thunder raps. And MIR, we all know how he got to be in the team. tsk.

But there's a rookie group Block B. I acknowledge the rappers as true rappers. Thumbs up to them! They are produced by a hip hop artist after all. My bias in baby P.O and Taeil!

Oh and i think that BEAST Junhyung is good too. And Dalmatian! The rappers are legit rappers.

It was only like late last year that i started listening to underground Korean hip-hop. I used to only listen to Dok2 but then i ventured out. When you hear the way they rap, you feel like your idols can't be compared to them at all. You will be ashamed by how some of these "idols" rap.

I used to place TOP as my top most best rapper. But now he is on par with Dok2. Love this 2 rappers to death!And by the way, i didn't listen to Dok2 when he started to collaborate with Jay Park.

Some people think that Jay is helping Dok2 to go up with Jay's fame BUT Dok2 is already a famous figure in the underground scene. It's funny to see how some Jaywalkerz think of Dok2. Shows how ignorant some of them are. But hey! Before some Jaywalkerz want to kill me. I have mad respect for Jay. I'm a fan of his. Love his music and style. Don't kill aite.I've listened to some underground music here and there but i'm not all too familiar with it yet. But when i watch fancams of their concerts, man! I really wanna watch these guys performs. Everyone would love to go and watch a concert especially if the performers can pump up a crown right?

Obsessive Fangirls

2011-06-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

I seriously need to rant. I can't take it any longer. WHY ARE FANGIRLS NOWADAYS SO OBSESSIVE?!?!?!

You like you idol enough la. You can claim that they're your husband or what not, i'm still ok with it. BUT DON'T GO AS FAR AS, " SO AND SO IS MY HUSBAND. YOU CANNOT TOUCH!"

Like what the fuck? You think he will marry you meh? Dream on la horh. There's a bunch of other pretty Korean girls for them to be with. They're fairer, taller and slimmer than you!
Unless you are some super chiobu then ok i've got nothing to say. Then maybe, MAYBE, you got chance.

And i hate it like how some fangirls are able to talk about their idols like for 24/7 and forget about their OWN life. As in like YOUR REALITY life.

Seriously la, those idols have thousands, or maybe millions of fans. They won't just remember you alone. What would you gain from thinking about your idols all day? Go study la. It will do you some good.

And from what i observe, it's most of the kpop newbies which are like this. I don't see the old school kpop-ers being so obsessive.(not even back then) They can even make jokes about their idols or bias. But these newbies, they're like woah! They would pounce on you any moment if you say something bad about the idol or their bias. Like total defense mode. HELLO! YOU WON'T GAIN ANYTHING LA OK!

Start focusing on your life! Not your idols. They won't marry you! Get over it!

p.s: like a lot of singlish in this post horh.

2011-05-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

What a miracle. I'm actually blogging after blogging yesterday! Yay me!

Anyway, in 3 days time, it's gonna be my GP and Malay paper for promo 1. Sigh... Can i ask something? WHEN DID MALAY GET SO HARD?!?!?! Why is it so hard to get a freaking B? Why?! Tell me why?! I swear i hate it when i i get less than a B. I feel pathetic.

There's math test tomorrow and thank god i have Farah to help me with. Best part? She lives in Hougang Green! And i love going there cause Ani stays there! hohoho!

POC is out and i wanna watch it. Someone, watch with me. Pretty please... hehehe.

I'm actually doing my WR right now but i'm like drifting away from it cause i dunnoe what to write.

Ok... This post is really messy. There hasn't been a particular topic that i wanna blog about. Oh actually i might have but.... yeah... maybe now is not the right time.

p.s: some malays totally just bring shame to the malay society. can't stand it!

2011-05-21T03:44:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired. Every single day, i never fail to say that i'm tired. When i wake up, i already feel so drained.

But when i feel that i should have a break, i feel guilty.

I'm tired. But i have awesome girlfriends in school to make my day.

2011-04-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

If only I could hold you once
I wish you were my lover for just a moment
Please, please, please I pray
Us, us, us, us together, together

Because I love her so much my greed keeps growing
I want you for myself. You by yourself. Don't run, don't escape.

1-uno 2-dos 3-tres 4-cuatro

Time passes and it's been years since I've seen you.. So what?
All I do is call your name in front of you
I couldn't stand meeting as friends, No
I'm going crazy. No I grow crazier. The more I meet you
My head gets fuzzy, my heart is confused, I don't know what I'll do either, Yeah

Eyes that can't lie, The dream last night that was like a nightmare
I love it when you look only at me like this, say "dear"

It's my obsession, don't curse me
That's my obsession, don't look away
It's my obsession
Don't tell me please, Don't tell me, That's my obsession
That's my obsession

If only I could hold you once
I wish you were my lover for just a moment
Please, please, please I pray
Us, us, us, us together, together

I'm sorry
That night wasn't lonely
For some reason there's nothing different to the usual
But the spot I prepared so beautifully for you doesn't look that happy
Not even a word, But it's okay dear
It doesn't bother me, I'm happy we're together
Don't worry anymore
I'll stay by your side and protect you forever

Eyes that can't lie, The dream last night that was like a nightmare
I don't know what to do if you fall asleep so quietly, Dear open your eyes

It's my obsession, Don't curse me
That's my obsession, Don't turn your back at me
It's my obsession
Don't tell me please, Don't tell me, That's my obsession
That's my obsession

If only I could hold you once
I wish you were my lover for just a moment
Please, please, please I pray
Us, us, us, us together, together

[serious tone]Smile, please smile, you're prettiest when smiling, Cry? Why am I crying?
Wipe those tears, and you have no expression
You stiffen, I bring my knees to the floor, and ask you what you did wrong[/serious tone]

Endless expectations, by some possibility
If it was all a joke, if someone woke me up
This was all my persistence, If only I lessened my greed
If I knew I'd live like this as a sinner

1-uno 2-dos 3-tres 4-cuatro

It's my obsession, Don't curse me
That's my obsession, Don't turn your back at me
It's my obsession
Don't tell me please, Don't tell me, That's my obsession
That's my obsession

If only I could hold you once
I wish you were my lover for just a moment
Please, please, please I pray
Us, us, us, us together, together

If only you knew how i feel.

My Dear Mentee

2011-03-28T02:45:00.001-07:00

I'm 2 days late. But 2 days ago it was her second death anniversary. It's been that fast.

My Dear Mentee,

I'm sorry when you came to my dreams the other time i ran away. I do remember you from time to time. I still remember the sphagetti incident the most though. I don't really know what else to say... So i guess i'll just end it here...

Things I Care About

2011-03-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

The title says it all.

I care about.

1) Family
2) Friendships
3) Heath

As long as these 3 are ok. I'm satisfied enough.

Of course family is important. They are the people who share the same blood as you. I trust them and never doubted them. If they do something i never expected them to do or do something that i might hate, i still trust them. It may make me look stupid and weak, but i believe that because they are family, i can accept it. And i'll do anything to foster that broken bond.

My example, my parents are not happy with these 2 particular cousins and i know all about it and to a certain degree i was angry because one of them did something right infront of me. But i forgive them. I don't care because they're my family. Even though my parents don't visit their houses, i do. Because i believe strongly that in the term "Blood Is Thicker Than Water".

And as for friends, we are not born in the same family but God made us meet for some reason. Each of us has flaws and we must learn to accept that flaws. If we keep on concentrating on that flaw, of course there will be problems arising. Right? Each of us are born in a different way, so we must learn to deal with someone else's differences.

Some may not be patient enough to deal with it but i've learned that the best way to deal with it is to just keep quiet about it and then approach that person privately and then tell them what it is about them that irritates you. If they get angry with you then it just shows that that person is not your friend.

Trust and loyalty is something that i really take note of. If i trust you, i'll be loyal to you. Make sense doesn't it?

Let's all live a good life.

2011-02-27T02:55:00.000-08:00

Hey hey! Me is back!

And i have nothing to blog about. Life is boring. School work and house work. Yeap. That's my life. Sigh...

Anyway, I'm heading to the airport later. No it's not bout some Kpop artist. But Ani's sister is leaving for S.Korea to continue her studies and i'm going there to just... erm... kaypoh kaypoh? LOL! Well, i can give Ani some moral support right?

Ok i have nothing else.

Annyeong! Goodbye! Adios!

P.S: I'm really loving underground Korean music.

2011-02-24T02:04:00.000-08:00

Hey blogger! You must have missed me soo much right?! I'm so sorry you were abandoned. I'm just updating cause my motivator told me to update. Must thank her ok!

So what's up.... Hmm... It's actually common test period. Tomorrow is my last paper! Then imma watch Black Swan with Jessie! Can't wait la...

Anyway, since school started i've been to pre-occupied with school work. I want the holidays back where i can go out and hang out till night....

Actually i've been feeling a bit... erm... down??? i'm not sure if down is the right word but .... hmm... yeah... i really hate it but it's slowly going away. Maybe it's just pms and i'm going through some emotional rollercoaster.

On a brighter note,

BIG BANG IS BACK!!!!

My most incredible Oppas are back!!! Coolest, dopest human being on earth are back! And as a TEAM!
Chicken shall not be my motivator!!! Hahahaha! Still not over it! My crappiest friend, my happy pill and erm... my motivator! School will be boring without you!

2011-01-01T01:08:00.000-08:00

I'm bored and i have nothing to do, so imma blog.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! Hope 2011 will be a good year for everyone!

So i spent my last few hours of 2010 with Lina my barbaric twin aka my bitch! It has been 2 years since i last saw her and i met her yesterday. I'm so glad she didn't dissappear from my life cause she is one of the person i treasure most in my life despite her being one of the bad influence friends. Hahaha! I still love you no matter what!

Chat with her bout all the crazy shit we use to do and life. I knew her since i was like 8 and we saw each other grow.

Was chilling out at Marina Square when i saw Izzul and Azmil!(Ok lah... it was actually Izzul since i'm so blind w/o my specs and i don't dare look at anyone cause some of them look so gangsta.) I haven't seen Amil since N-levels results which makes it... 2 years?

Awhile later, bumped in Siming! He was with the rest of the familiar faces from Xinmin.

But afterwards i had to leave and meet up with my parents and my Indo relatives to check out the fireworks. Although i was with my family, i was talking with Lina on the phone and we sorta spend new year together! hahaha! Joke i tell ya!

And that was how i spend my 31st December 2010. I was very happy with it.

A recap of 2010.

I was alright with my O-levels results but didn't manage to get into a poly. Gave MI a shot and i met the most awesome-ness people there!

There's my OG friend, Delima. Who goes crazy with me over Kpop and dance with me!

There's my classmates whom i dearly adore! The one and only Jessie! Oh Jess, if you're reading this, you are my happy pill too! Every single memory with you, there's none that i can think about w/o smiling/laughing at myself. The jokes and laughter makes me look forward to school. Oh and also thanks for giving me the drive to study really hard. I got good progress award also lehs!!! Love ya!!!

Also, Shahirah & Lydia. Blur Princess, you know who you are. Your blur moments makes me laugh and thanks for helping me with maths everytime. You are the best teacher ever! And Lydia, my makan partner. We're gonna tour around Singapore to find good food!

To the rest of the girls, Chay Wei, Siying, Fawnia, Bao Xin, Hui Chen hanging out with everyone is so fun! All the break time together. It was great knowing everyone!

Apart from MI, I still managed to keep in contact with some of the XMS mates. I ain't gonna lie but i did lose some of them like Shu Xian darling. I haven't seen her in like forever!

This year i became Friday guest at Ani's place! My BFF! Hope in 2011 we are still able to maintain our friendship! Love ya girl!

To Nab and Syaf as well, I hope we are still able to maintain the friendship for the upcoming years! Love ya girls too!

Ok that's pretty much it. I don't know if anyone is gonna read it cause many people assume that my blog is dead. Which it is... But sometimes only! I've been trying to revive it.

2010-12-27T06:19:00.000-08:00

No more penknives, no more alcohol, no more ciggs, no more puching the wall.

So what to do? Just cry out in frustration?

2010-12-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

I'm flying off to Medan this Friday and i'll be back on Sunday! 3 days 2 nights do what sia?! I wanna go to Jakarta NOT Medan!!! At least go Bandung la... I wanna see my eyecandy there~~~

Anyways.... TOP and Gd release High High and Oh Yeah already!!! I'm one happy VIP! Well. of course VIPs all around the world are happy!

Personally my favourite is Oh Yeah. Just because i love Gd, TOP and Bom in one song! That's why i love listening to We Belong Together and Forever With You.

Bommie unnie voice here is really awesome. Somehow she always sounds better in a featuring than in 2NE1 own songs. Well... that's my opinion. But nevertheless, I still love Bommie and 2NE1. Afterall, because of Bommie i anticipated 2NE1's debut.

High High i'm so high!!!

I have no problem those white chicks grinding all over them. It's kinda like becoming their style? LOl. i dunnoe. But there's one skank hugging my TOP too tightly! At least get a prettier one la!

I'm bored... There's nothing to watch!!! Boohoohoo! I'm aching to go out la can!

2010-12-14T02:34:00.001-08:00

This was something i wrote quite some time ago when i was feeling down and added a few touches to it. Since i have a lot of time now. It's for one of G-d's song.

Sometimes i wanna take out the mask that i've been wearing
Sick of showing a smile whenever there's people
Don't they understand there is something more deeper
Don't you know sometimes they just don't wanna show it
The fake laughter's and and the practiced jokes so others won't suspect anything wrong
You say the world is a beautiful place
But i say that i feel like a character in a never-ending play

Actually there's a story to this la... Should i share it? Hmm... I think i will.

I wrote this when i let my mum down again. I felt so suffocated cause i can never reach up to her expectation and i was kinda depressed. But when i go out to meet my friends, i need to escape from the depressed me.

Believe it or not, i've always been trying to impress my mum, but sometimes i feel it's so hard... I get jealous of people who seem so extremely close with their mum.

Ok i should stop here before.....

2010-12-13T02:08:00.000-08:00

Do you know how much i wish my life is like that?! Sadly i was born without any talent! YG family... sigh...

If there is only one entertainment company i would want to be in, it's YG.

But right, i don't wanna be an idol. SO!!! Can i just be a cleaner?!

2010-12-11T23:36:00.000-08:00

Hey blogger! How are you doing? Good? Well good for you then. I'm great too! (I know i sound crazy)

So today, another boring Sunday. Just cleaned my room and saw some precious things. MY LYRICS!!! It was my own lyrics of songs like Taeyang's Only Look At Me, T.O.P & G-d's We Belong Together/Forever With You, G-d's Heartbreaker and Big Bang's Haru Haru.

Boy, don't those lyrics brings back memories... But i guess, when i was sad i would always pen my feelings down and it was the only time when i really wrote good phrases. (if you know me, i'm not good with emotional words/phrases) While listening to emo songs and writing down what i feel, i decided to re-write the songs with my own lyrics.

But now, i've been a very happy kid(not that i'm complaining) so i sorta stop writing lyrics. Which is kinda sad cause i really enjoyed writing...

With this short post, i kinda revived my blog? yes? no? hahas.

Ok i'm out! gonna watch Running Man now!

2010-12-05T20:11:00.000-08:00

Day 6

Day 7

(why the reaction? Cause of Shawn's ass crack!)

Day 8

That day hast got to be the best day in Sweden... ok maybe in Copenhagen since Tivoli was in Denmark.

Jessie unglam face!

The whole team!

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11
Our sad goodbyes. Everyone from the Ystad team cried.

I really didn't wanna go home!

2010-12-02T01:07:00.000-08:00

I realise that i have been putting off my time to blog about my Sweden trip. (But seriously, no one reads my blog anymore right?)

Ok here it goes! (imma just start when we land in Copenhagen/Sweden)

Day 1
I was actually feeling a lil unwell on the first day... But i managed to suck it up so i can enjoy my trip :D

Day 2

We went to the zoo!!! The view was really picturesque. I enjoyed my time there. Like seriously.

Day 3

WE ARE GOING TO CAMP!!!!

In Hamlsatd
Reunion with Jessie!
At Vinnalt Camp!
Day4

IT WAS SNOWING!!!

Jessie made me eat snow and i had to get my revenge!
I'm never ever gonna fish when it's snowing! Cold like hell!
Day 5

The day where we finally visited their school and us giving presentations.

Missed Asia food so we went to a Chinese restaurant!
Upload the rest later!

2010-11-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

Hei everyone!!! Missed me? LOL. I'm in Sweden right now and i would love to blog bout everything but i won't. I'll keep everyone in suspence. Nah... actually that's just crap. I'm lazy and if i blog now, there would not be any photos.

Speaking of crap. The highlight for today; we went to a cow farm and the cow crapped and the poo splattered to my jeans. Not a lot of poo but still... yeah.... Oh and now i smell like a cow.

Will blog more when i'm back in Singapore! With pictures.

On a side note, i am having a blast feasting my eyes here. hehehehe

2010-10-26T03:38:00.000-07:00

Chatting with my buddy from Sweden now!!!

She sounds pretty fun! Now i can't wait to fly to Sweden!!! Yipee!!!

Oh. And i top malay! Another dude have the same score as me but seriously!!! NUR IRDIANTY BTE RAMLAN TOP MALAY!!! awesome shit or what man!

Oh and another story. My POA improved by 35.5 marks. My POA tuitor kicks ass man!

2010-10-23T21:01:00.002-07:00

K-POP NIGHT CONCERT

It was the K-pop night concert and it's freaking hell mind-blowing. Easier for me i'll just blog bout each group.

WARNING: I'M VERY BIAS!!!

FT ISLAND
I've seen them several times. The music was too loud that it drowned Hong Ki's voice. Jong Hoon walked to the front! Damn how can a guy look that gorgeous?!?!?!?! So did Hong Ki but i don't really care bout him. They sang like 3 to 4 songs. Only sang along the lines that i knew which was during the song Love, Love, Love. I had yellow light stick which was suppose to represent Big Bang but since FT is yellow so can use the light stick for FT performance too!

D-NA aka The Boss
One thing i gotta know. They have awesome vocals. I'm like serious. I never really cared about them before cause they were like the pretty boy group and i'm not into pretty boys. The only song i know was Stumble Stumble.

They performed the first song and i had no idea what the song was. Then they performed Stumble Stumble. Ani and i were like the only ones screaming during that song. Like cheering during the chorus and some other part of the song like the "bomb bomb bomb bang bang bang" part and it was HILARIOUS!

They performed the third song which i didn't know and i took that as my break time to prepare myself for the next group.

ZE:A
Screamed like mad when it was ZE:A's turn! Fatin and me were like Moon Jun Young-ing. First song was Malzetov and i had fun singing along. But did you know that saying the days Monday to Sunday in a song sounds real weird. I started cracking up when i sang that part together with Ani. The way Ani and i cheered was also funny.

Me: Moon Jun Young
Ani: Ha Min Woo
Me: Jun Young!!!!
Ani: Min Woo!!!
(we repeated this for a few more seconds till Fatin said enough. LOL)

Second song was All Day Long. Jun Young so bloody hot la can! I love you oppa!!!

My light stick actually left my hand when i was screaming Jun Young's name and the poor girl infront of me had to take my light stick for me. Oops! >.<

Third song, Level Up. Not a big fan of this song. Not my type. But i remembered the dance.

Infinite
Like D-NA, this group did not appeal to me as well. They sang 3 songs. I only cheered along the "dorawa dorawa dorawa" part cause that was all that i knew.

Shinee
1) Onew sang Jong Hyun's part in the starting of Ring Ding Dong and he got the lyrics wrong. His face was captured onto the screen and it was epic!

2) Hate Taemin's hair

3) Minho very hot!!!

My second time seeing Shinee. And there's no one else except for Minho for me. I stood up during their performance. Fatin and me are Minho fans! So we were like screaming Minho. The girls at the back are apparently Minho fans as well :D

SNSD
1) ROFL-ed when we saw the fanboys
2) We acted like total assholes during their performance
3)Had fun mocking.....

MC: They must be the most talented girl group in Korea!
Fatin and me: NO!!! NOOOO!!!! 2NE1 IS THE BEST!!! 2NE1 ROCKS!!! YG FAMILY!!!!

There was a sea of pink all over. I almost went blind seeing all the pink.

So they sang Run Devil Run. Ani, Fatin,girls at the back and me went like " YES RUN! YOU DEVILS GO RUN!!! RUN FAR FAR AWAY!!!" other than that "WE WANT BIG BANG!!! GO AWAY!!! BIG BANG! BIG BANG! BIG BANG!"

Now let's talk about fanboys! Man they're hella funny!!! I swear i laughed so hard that i almost pee on my pants!!! There's this guy wearing a white shirt and he was so quiet during the other performances but when SNSD was on stage.... I was like OMG!!! Dude! You serious?!?!?! He shouted like some mad dude.

There's another one 2 seats away from me. That one more extreme! Started dancing and singing and jumping! I thought the place was gonna collapse! I could feel the floor shaking! When girls jump there was a slight tremor but when the guys jump... It was like almost an earthquake!!!

As for me, i was seated throughout their performances. And the other things i noticed was Hyoyeon's legs damn muscle-ly. And Ani pointed out how short Taeyeon was.

THE ONE. THE ONLY. BIG BANG!!!!
Ya baby! It the Big.... BANG! The Big The Big Bang! We're famous. VIP that's where we stand!

BIG BANG BROUGHT THE HOUSE DOWN! THEY HYPED UP THE CROWD AND DAMN THEY'RE GOOD!!! We were standing on the chairs while they were performing!

First song: Gara Gara GO! I for one, like this song. It's the type of song that can really hype the crowd. Sang to almost the whole song! Shouting, screaming, waved my light stick, dancing. You name it. I did everything while standing on the chair.

Second song: Haru Haru. They sang the slower version. I can just paste whatever i type from the "Sang to almost the....... did everything while standing on the chair from the above paragraph.

Third song: Number 1! Screamed like mad when they sang this!!! Knew the whole song and just went crazy!!!

Fourth song: Lies! Above i said i screamed like mad. When the song the started playing i got even wilder. Never did i imagine that i'd get to hear them sing this song live!!!! Danced and sang to this song like mad!!!

Fifth song: Last Farewell! Kya!!! Can you feel my enthusiasm while blogging bout Big Bang!!! One of my all time favourite songs as well!!! You may say, all also your favourite. But i like them what. Their songs very nice. All like la! Got problem arhs? I can just copy past whatever i wrote from the above paragraph la.

Sixth song: I didn't know the title but i have in my ipod. LOL! I know the song la but it wasn't really one of my favourite songs from them. So all i did was to scream at the top of my lungs for no other than T.O.P!!!! Of course i screamed for Big Bang and the other members as well but i screamed for TOP the most.

Seventh song: I didn't know this song as well. But Fatin told me it's a song they sing during concerts. Screamed and screamed and screamed since it was their last song.

Now analyzation for each member! (Big Bang more things to blog about. They're my bias and i love them!) All of them dress very casual but damn they're like the hottest thing on earth. Who says YG people are not good looking?! You are so wrong bastards!

Daesung: He sounds pretty good. He's not that bad-looking actually. Ok la. Not ugly. Looks very nice and humble.

Seungri: This kid very hyper! No doubt his the baby! He looks pretty fine as well. Vocals? Pretty impressive.

G-Dragon: DAMN HE SO SEXY!!! I SWEAR!!! LIKE CUTE/SEXY/HOT/CHARISMATIC!!! No doubt! He is the one and only G-DRAGON!

Taeyang: I swear my heart just melt when he sang. I always thought that his vocals were just ok but i was proved wrong! HE'S GOOD!!! I SWEAR HE'S GOOD! Taeyang oppa!!! Saranghae!

T.O.P aka Tempo aka Choi Seung Hyun( am i super bias or what?! lol): Oppa will you marry me? I love you till death and no one else. HE IS MOTHERFUCKING SEXY!!! HIS RAPPING VOICE IS MOTHERFUCKING AWESOME!!! I LOVE HIM AND I WANT HIM!!! Although he dance weird, it brings a smile to my face and it shows the dorky side of him which i truly love! I will never forget that i was in the same place as you. Oppa!!! Come back again!!! Or not i'll just go to you. hehehehehe

DEAR BIG BANG, PLEASE COME BACK AGAIN AND HAVE YOUR OWN CONCERT. BETTER YET, HAVE A YG CONCERT. INCLUDE 1TYM TOO SINCE I LISTEN TO THEM.

End of concert.

Ani, Fatin and me rushed out of the concert hall and went out to the parking lot. D-NA waved at us!!! I only know Karam. And damn that boy is super pretty. How come Korean boys so pretty? Like very funny you know! Although the other members were waving i could only see him.

Oh and it's good to have a kind security who shared information with us. Thanks Mr. Nice security!

THE END.

It's all about the eye-candies!

2010-10-12T23:16:00.000-07:00

Hmm... Which one should i blog about first.... Ok i shall go with ulzzang first then!

Around sometime last month Ani kept on tweeting bout some ulzzang show called Ulzzang Shidae. So being bored, i went to check the show out. Slowly i got interested in the show. I mean got like pretty boys and pretty girls, who don't wanna watch. Since i'm not really into pretty boys i found the girls really pretty.

BUT! As i watched more videos, there's this really cute guy on it. The word suitable for him is cute, pretty, adorable. Not like hot or manly.C'mon, you hafta admit he's one cutie! When Ani and her sis told me he's 25 or 26, I was like "You serious?! I thought he is 19 or 20!" Cute right?! Ok enough bout him.

Next up! I have been obsessing bout them eversince 2NE1 comeback. Funny right? 2NE1 comeback then how come got guys?

Actually there's this twins which are 2NE1 backup dancer. They partner with Dara and CL respectively. I like both la. Can't make up my mind. Afterall they're identical twins!You can see them most clearly in Go Away performance. They dance in Clap Your Hands but they're wearing the mask thingy so you can't really see their face. Oh and they danced for Se7en's I'm Going Crazy as well. I felt so bad when i downloaded videos of Go Away and I'm Going Crazy just to see the twins.

Got video!!!! They're so so so cute!!! Check this video out ok.

So ulzzang versus cute dancers.

Cute dancers totally overrule the ulzzang!

2010-10-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

So i was rambling bout shades and i was wondering why i was talking bout shades in Twitter?! Limited words somemore. Might as well blog and give this space some live right?

The thing is, i saw a bunch of people wearing those oversized white frame shades. I totally went like OMG why are you wearing that?! You know how the oversized white frames look like right? They usually have Dior, Chanel or some other brand names on it. It's alright if it's original and you are wearing it but some.... It's so obvious it's some $10 pasar malam "Dior" shades la! People can tell lorhs. Pasar malam one the white colour is like not really white-ish and.... dunnoe how to say la. But it's kinda obvious.

When it comes with brand names such as Dior, Chanel or Gucci, it's not really advisable to buy their shades cause these brands follow trend. Unless you can afford to buy the shades each time the trend changes then it's alright.

Now to aviators. I gotta admit i still wear my last season aviators.(cause i really like them and i can't find any affordable aviators which suit me.). Aviators is not really outta trend but nowadays it's those kind which really suit your face. What i mean like, it's not too small nor too big. Oversize aviators is pretty much last season. Especially if it's so obvious that you have small face and you're wearing one oversized aviators. Big no no! Same goes if you have a round face and you're wearing those kinda small aviators. Gosh! You will only make your face way bigger!

If you have a round/big face, make sure you buy your aviators a lil bit bigger. My dad told me that there's actually sizes for Rayban aviators. If you have big face just buy the bigger one. Of course if you have small face then buy the smaller one. Easy right?

Usually. Read that i say USUALLY! People suit this kinda shades. Especially if you have a big face. I will know more what kinda shades fits people with big face cause i have big face la horhs.Easy say la. Wanna buy shades? Buy from Rayban cause their shades never go out of fashion. My dad bought his Raybans for over 20 plus years(i think) and you can still see people wearing the same kinda shades around. It never gets old. Plus they got size lehs! Better right. Also Rayban is like a shades brand so it's the most trusted shades brand to buy from. (unless you're the sporty kind la and prefer some other sports brand).

With that, I'll show you the shades that i want. And the one that my dad wants.

The first time i saw it, i got attracted to it. And when i tried it, I TOTALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH IT. And i was super happy that it actually fit my face size. :D

Ciao people! Hope if you want to buy shades hope that this bit of info it will help.

2010-10-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

2010-09-04T01:15:00.000-07:00

2010-09-03T23:35:00.000-07:00

2010-09-03T03:29:00.000-07:00

When you have a problem, don't expect me to give you good advice. I'll just listen to you.
If i give you my "advise" it is something that i would do but you may not. So i'd rather just listen than talk.

When you cry, don't expect me to be extra nice or cautious or helpful cause i'll only give you a tissue and say nothing else.

Some may think i'm mean but thats the way i am(not that i'm mean) I don't like to be stuck in any sticky situations.

2010-08-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

I think in the future i will either update my blog based on the articles i read in TIME or whatever resources so i can improve my GP(in anyway which i don't really know how)

When it comes to my normal social life i'll just upload photos.

Peace out people!

2010-08-28T15:25:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday Nab(xms) showed me a video of how Muslims are treated in America and i was like WTH. Today i was reading TIME and i was shocked to see what the Americans opinion on Muslims are.

It's frustrating to see that Americans think that Islam is a violent religion just because of terrorism. Just so you know, normal Muslims are against terrorism as well. Killing hundreds or thousands of innocent lives is not anywhere written in the Koran. Aren't terrorism happening just because they misintepreted the Koran?

"Shari'a laws requiring the stoning of adulterers or other gruesome punishment to serve as proof that Muslims are savage and backwards." [adapted from TIME]

Firstly do you know what kind of stones they throw? They throw small stones. Not big stones or rock that once you hit the person they will die. When i first learned bout the throwing of stones i was like " That is so inhumane" then later my Uztaz told me that they can only throw small stones. The throwing of stones is just to let them feel a little pain. Not to make them die! Some of the punishments given may be deemed as inhumane in the eyes of non-Muslims but do they really check their resources right?

I think the debate going on about the Park51 is really scary. Talking bout the Muslim's as if we're terrorist. It's not like we have bombs!

I don't know about others but i hate how terrorist makes Islam look so dangerous and violent.
Didn't Phrophet Muhammad withstand people throwing rocks, spitting and other mean stuffs at him? Isn't being patient one of the things we need in our lives? Demonstration such as the "All i need to know about Islam, I learned on 9/11." I don't think it's a fair way to judge Islam just because of some stupid terrorist.

In all, i'm really happy to be living a a country where there is peace and harmony. We all have different religion and race but together we're Singaporeans and i'm glad that our nation leaders find that harmony and cohesion is important.

2010-08-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

2010-08-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

2010-08-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

2010-08-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

In 3 days time it's gonna be my 18th birthday! Woah... 18... Life is really passing by fast.

I still remember the time when i was in primary school. And of course the things that happened in secondary school. I'm like 2/3 legal. I consider 21 to be the legal age here.

So many things happened in these 18 years. Each year i learned something new and each year i can feel myself becoming more mature. (well... there are times when i just wanna be immature)

It's crazy how i see some people come and go. How i actually confessed to guys i liked and my "rebellious" moments. These things really made me learn a lot though.

When i was young, all i cared about was the presents. Now i realize that all i need is for the people i love to be around me. Something that i learned this year in MI. My love language is spending my time with the people who i really care for.

I managed to spend my time with my awesome bunch of friends from MI last Friday. We caught the movie Street Dance.The movie was dope! People who likes dancing should seriously check it out.

Peace out guys!

p.s: i'm trying to update my blog more often now :D

2010-07-30T01:49:00.000-07:00

2010-07-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

If you asked me why i liked you, it's because i was stupid. Not because you have anything special.

Yeah. I admit.

I. Was. Stupid.

And i'm worried that i still am.

2010-07-06T01:38:00.001-07:00

When you're down and alone,
Who do you go to?

When you're sick and need help,
Who do you depend on?

When you cry cause you're hurt,
Who is the shoulder that you cry on?

When i was hurt, bled, cried, screamed. You weren't there. I stop hoping that you would notice. You only cared when i was still young. Now that i'm big enough. you think i can take care of myself? Well i still need someone....

2010-05-19T02:35:00.000-07:00

I'M SO ADDICTED TO THESE 2 SONGS!!!

CN Blue new song! Love Love Love!!! hahas. Damn my baby Jong Hyun looks so darn fine!

One Way! I listen to their songs but i never really go fan girl-ing over them. But damn this song is damn dope! Take a guess who i like?

THE RAPPER OF COURSE!!!

2010-05-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

I MISS MY SECONDARY SCHOOL FRIENDS.... A LOT!!!

2010-04-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

I'm suppose to be studying for my maths test but i just feel really lazy. I studied a bit already though. I'm waitng for nabilah to send me the Malay presentation powerpoint so i can prepare for tmr.

I really left this blog rotting. I've got things to update but i'm just plain lazy. But sometimes is i'm really busy lurhs...

Btw, I'm hosting a German girl! Yeah but she is like 16. And i'm going on a cruise! Will be back on Sunday=)

Ok i got nothing more to say. Tatas!

2010-04-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

Am i just bored?
Am i just lonely?
Why the sudden thought?
It's crazy... But i'm controlling it well...

2010-03-15T05:37:00.000-07:00

Gosh my blog is so dead right now!!!

I've been ultra busy with school work and when i use the internet, i will only go to allkpop and youtube.

There's GP project and MI mart.

I'll be doing a photoshoot!!! If everything goes well, i hope my friends will support me.

I love the friends i made in MI like Jessie, Shahirah, Hui Chen, Fawnia and Chay Wei. I swear i can laugh till my stomach hurts like mad with Jessie and Chay Wei. Put us together and it will be non-stop laughter!

I'll be heading off to Jogja on Thursday till Sunday. Too bad it's not Bandung or Jakarta=( but at least still can travel=)

Off to do my truck load of holiday homework now!

2010-02-26T07:32:00.000-08:00

You may not know, but it felt really great.
I pretend that i don't care but i'm just staring.
You may not know, but i was filled with happiness.
Thanks for not forgetting.

2010-02-20T20:52:00.001-08:00

Your view on yourself:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are down-to-earth

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :People like you because you are so straightforward

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both side

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You like serious

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Smart

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Determined people

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You don't judge a book by its cover

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :So good-looking people aren't necessarily your style

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether y

The seriousness of your love:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You like to flirt

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Behave seductively

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :The opposite sex finds this very attractive

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :That's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship

Your views on education:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Education is very important in life

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You want to study hard

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Learn as much as you can

The right job for you:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You have many goals

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Want to achieve as much as you can

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable e

How do you view success:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Success in your career is not the most important thing in life

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are content with what you have

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of yo

What are you most afraid of:

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are afraid of things that you cannot control

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel

2010-02-03T03:02:00.000-08:00

Listening to U-Kiss new songs. Nice!

Ok... How is MI?

Hmm... Let's just say i hated it like shit on my first day. I even appealed to higher nitec. But now i changed my mind. I'm sticking in MI. Why? When i see the 3 alphabets i totally felt that i should just stay in MI and work my butt off. SMU. These 3 letters.

Most of my good friends will know that SMU is my dream school. When i see SMU printed on one of the papers in the file, i strongly felt that it will be good if i take my A levels.

So yeah... That is one of the main reasons why i'm sticking to MI.

For subject combo, for my H2 subject i'm taking Management of Business, POA and History. H1 subject is Maths. I really don't wanna take maths la! But have to take maths cause i wanna take business course. I actually wanted to take China Studies in English!!! It sounds a lot easier and more humanities-sy...

I've met some really good friends there like Delima, Raudhah, Syahid and Yiter. But we are from different stream and taking different subject combination=(

Oh and the discipline mistress really scares me. I get tense when seeing her.

Ok tatas ppl! My journey from here to school is shit!

2010-01-26T19:31:00.000-08:00

I got into Millennia Institute Commerce. So although i pretty much do NOT want to get inside a school where i hafta take A levels, i got into one.

Being me, i'll look at the positive side. To me there are more positive sides.

1) I'm studying business. Since i can't go to any poly to study business getting into MI which offers some business studies is good right?

2) I get to wear uniform. YES! I LIKE TO WEAR UNIFORM! No need to think of what to wear everyday. My parents no need spend money also.

3) Easier route to University. I've been dreaming of studying business in SMU for years!(well... after they opened up SMU)

4) I can study Humanities!!! I love humans THAT much.

5) I heard got many Malays.

The negative side.

1) I'M TAKING A LEVELS! MEANS STUDY LIKE SHIT!

The negative side may only be one but it's crazy. I hafta push myself like crazy.

I always look up to Abang Ady(my successful cousin) so maybe by taking A levels i can be like him. I'm gonna work hard and be like him!

Hope that by going to different schools i can still meet my friends. I don't know anyone from my school that is going to MI!

DIAN HWAITING!

2010-01-23T05:17:00.000-08:00

OMG!!! This is so hot! My number 1 favourite guy in MBLAQ, G.O dancing to my seccond favourite in Big Bang Tae Yang's Only Look At Me. Ok that was a wee bit complicated.

And of the course, the man himself. Tae Yang!

I really love this video. Damn LOL at the end. Gyuri was hot! Right... That's not the point.

2010-01-23T04:32:00.001-08:00

Other than CN Blue's song. I'm addicted to 2PM's Tik Tok feat YEH.

I'm bored.

Min Hyuk is adorable isn't he!

But i still prefer Jong Hyun! Though his looks may not be as incredible as Yong Hwa or as adorable as Min Hyuk, his has such great vocals worth drooling for!

2010-01-19T18:59:00.000-08:00

Am alone in the office right now... and i have been thinking bout stuffs. Like ya know, we're leaving secondary school, gonna be somewhere new. Gotta start all over again with the "Hi! I'm so and so. What's your name?"

Knowing my character its really damn easy to cut of my connections with my friends. Except for Ani though. She is my BFF! Will i still remain as a jerk who can really forget bout my friends who has been with my for 5 years. I treasure those i really treasure but i can just forget some others really easily. I know, i'm as ass but i can't help it. At least i'm honest with it.

2010-01-16T22:42:00.000-08:00

Ok i finally memorize the name of the boys from CN Blue!

The famous Shinwoo oppa : Jung Yong Hwa

The black hair guy with a jazz like voice : Lee Jong Hyun ( i really love his voice!!!)

The adorable drummer : Kang Min Hyuk

The cool(???) guy : Lee Jung Shin

You'll be seeing a lot of CN Blue in my blog. kekekeke

2010-01-16T08:02:00.000-08:00

She is awesome! I don't really watch Vlogs but i'm glad i stumbled into this! Oh before i forget. IT'S ABOUT K-POP!

There more but i don't bother putting it up here.

2010-01-15T19:47:00.000-08:00

The newest shit in town man!!!

CN BLUE

Their MV:

Their debut stage:

I'm not a big fan of band for example FT Island but CN Blue totally blew me away! They are really good!

Ok thats all for CN Blue. Next up is ZE:A

They exceeded my expectations. I thought they were gonna be off pitch or something cause they are rookies and hafta dance and sing but they were good!

Ok i gotta go now people!

Enjoy your weekends!

2010-01-11T22:01:00.000-08:00

Got back my O level results. I cried. I ALWAYS cry. Since sec 2 and it became a habit. So yeah...

I FINALLY got A2 for my Malay. I guess third time's the charm. I was disappointed with my Combine Humanities. B3. I really wanted an A but i guess it was cause of SS. I'm surprise with my Maths. But still not good enough. My POA and Combine Science can really jump down alr. I hated this 2 subjects so it pretty much explains everything.

Films, Sounds and Videos was one of the courses that i checked out when i went to NP and i got that choice. Heavy workload. But i REALLY REALLY REALLY want to do business or tourism. I'm appealing for business course in SP. Cause NP to high alr.

My aunt just called, she asked me to do something which include cosmetics. Gonna have another meeting tonight with my aunt. Yesterday was with my tutor.

Mum is checking out flights to Hong Kong cause i really wanna go there to shop. Although Korea is the place that i wanna go, i think shopping in Hong Kong is better. I'm gonna wipe out the goods in Hong Kong malls! Muahahahaha!

I really hope i can appeal. Pray hard hard!!!

2010-01-10T05:08:00.001-08:00

Just got back from a cousins day out with Ani! Ani is practically like in my family cause we(my family) tend to invite her for dinners or whatever.

Went to City Square. The new shopping mall near Farrer Park. Went to eat at Banquet. Got Korean/Japan food. NICE!

After that went to Balestier to catch Avatar! Awesome movie! Glad that i went to watch it=)

OMG RESULTS TOMORROW!!!

2010-01-09T04:09:00.001-08:00

Woohoo!!! I've been updating my blog=) But it's gonna be about K-pop. I've got many videos to watch! Like Idol Army and YG TV.

The male rookie groups!!!

F.Cuz

The song is kinda addictive. I like the guy waering the cap is name is Kan. Very hot!!! Me like.

Next up, ZE:A(but they are changing name and i dunnoe whats their new name.)

They havent debut live. So i dunnoe much. But their song also not bad.

Ok up next is not a male rookie group. It's Hyun-A.

I love Jun Hyung. So it's the only reason why i'm posting up the video. I don't hate Hyun-A ok.

2010-01-07T22:36:00.000-08:00

YOONA IN FAMILY OUTING?!?!?!?!?! HOW MANY BAD NEWS BOUT K-POP DO I HAVE TO GET IN ONE DAY UHS?!?!?!?!

Whats worst is Yoona is in FO together with Taec Yeon!!! LIKE WHATTHEFUCK!!! I hate Yoona and i love Taec Yeon. Plus Yoona is so not variety type! Can pick Sooyoung what!!! I like her lehs! I don't mind her and Taec Yeon.. Or Sunny! I love them both. I'd even rather Tiffany and Jessica! Ok maybe not Jessica.

The PD got no eyes is it?! Pick Yoona. Confirm is for his own and the crew satisfaction only la!

No Yoo Jae Suk. No Lee Hyori. This equals to NO NEED WATCH F.O ALR!!!

Can replace Yoona or not!!! PLEASE!!!

2010-01-07T18:26:00.001-08:00

I'm blogging right now to defend G-dragon.

Although G-d had never been my most favourite member in Big Bang(my favourite is TOP and followed by Taeyang), you gotta admit that he got skills. He may not be the best rapper or song writer/producer but i think he is one of the best in idol groups. His song writing skills is something that i admire.

His fashion statement may be a lil... no make that a lot, crazy. He can pretty much carry it off.(except for tat long ugly hair during Gara Gara Go promotions in Japan). He is daring and he doesn't seem to be the kind to care fuck about what others think. Frankly speaking, i got used to seeing him in weird and crazy styles. Even during the Gayo Daejun, i think it's normal.When i see him in normal clothing and hair, that's weird to me.

So he may be jailed because of the "bed scene" and the other inappropriate acts during his concert. It may not be suitable for the underage but are they complaining? Not so much right?. Aimee is also a professional dancer. I don't think its right to jail him just for that. He wanted his concert to be different right? And judging from the fancams i do agree it is different and i find him really brave to do those acts during the concert.

I feel that he is really unique and he is different from other idols. Actually i feel YG artist are different cause they seem to be more daring in whatever they do. (this might sound bias but if you look at it, SM is too idol-ly which can be pretty boring at times with the exception of some Suju members though. JYP is alright i guess cause i love 2PM and they goof around a lot which made them really adorable).

I don't hate G-d but i don't love G-d as well. But i do admire his works. I think he is sorta fresh.

YG FAMILY HWAITING!!!

2010-01-05T01:37:00.000-08:00

Was reading my previous post. Got some spelling errors like i spelled bitches as bithces. Wanted to write fine as find. Lazy re-check what i wrote before i post...

15 more minutes till end of work! Can't wait for 7pm so can watch Cruel Temptation aka Temptation of Housewives. Got addicted to it because of my parents. I thought it was one of those "auntie" drama but i was wrong.

Working on an itinerary is hard... Ok bye!

2010-01-02T05:13:00.001-08:00

I know i haven't been updating much. Thus i shall just upload some pictures to show you that i'm living just find. HAHAS!
Oh and i have been shopping A LOT!

2009-12-24T05:35:00.000-08:00

I know my blog had been super dead. But i really lack the motivation to blog anymore. I tend to upload photos in FB and i'm lazy to upload them here. Muahahaha.

To those celebrating Christmas,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-08T05:35:00.000-08:00

Beckah unnie jjang! Ok there are alot of unnies who i think is jjang. Like Miryo unnie, CL unnie, Jung Ah unnie and so on.

To G-d's fan who have not watched his Shine A Light Concert for Breathe. Don't watch it if you are a crazy fan girl.
To me, THIS IS A DAMN FUCKEN HOT PERFORMANCE!

Seriously, i hope Aimee(the dancer) does not gain any anti-fans. She's just doing her job. Which is fantastic!

Btw,

I'M GOING TO THE SEOUL'D OUT CONCERT BITHCES!

2009-12-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

They're just so adorable! I'm starting to like everyone now. G.O is my favourite in MBLAQ and second is Mir.